Blog Post No. 205

Tessa's Converse collection. <3

I started this blog in November 2010, and this post will be my 205th since I wrote that self-conscious first post. I still have lots of doubts about blogging, chiefly that this online destination isn't a real reflection of who I am because it's too, like, "look at my clothes and look at my house and this pretty little baby girl I made with my husband whom I adore." It's a blog that looks at all the good things about my life and tunes out most of the bad, sad, and idiotic. I almost never blog about fights I have or mistakes I make or stupid stuff that I actually said out loud. That's for a reason -- not because I don't live in reality, but because I decided at the beginning of my blog-venture that I didn't want this to be a "Dear Diary" diatribe that would later embarrass me or anyone I love. I also committed to blogging almost every day; I wanted to go big or go home. And so this place has become my highlight reel and a love letter to my life, which is -- on most days -- just sinfully amazing.

Several really cool things have happened since I started blogging, and they're things that egg me on every week, that tell me I'd be a fool to pull the plug on this mack daddy, even though I want to about once a week especially when it's embarrassingly earnest about things like yarn pom-poms.

No. 1: I get off my ass more. I need stuff to blog about, after all. This appeals to that little girl in me who only wanted to dive off the high board if there was someone there to watch me do it. I had fallen into a creative slump, but this blog has become a tap-tap on my shoulder reminding me to turn off the TV or the computer and go make something, do something, lead a fuller life, even if that means I might be judged by someone somewhere.

No. 2: People come visit me here, and not just my Facebook friends anymore. I mean, the traffic isn't crazy-high or anything, but enough so that I feel listened to, which is nice since I work doing freelance writing from home and don't have an office to go into anymore or colleagues to socialize with. Thank YOU for being here and for listening!

No. 3: I write something every day. Sometimes it's just three sentences with 95 pictures attached, but sometimes it's an essay about motherhood or an epiphany about creativity. Whatever it is, it takes me beyond the writing I do professionally, which is mostly about car accidents. (True story.) And sometimes when I read back on it later, I think, 'Who is this person?' And then I realize, 'Ellen, this person is you. You two should really grab a beer together sometime.'

No 4.: Opportunities. I've gotten some really cool opportunities through my blog this year. I haven't made a dollar from the blog or sold any ads (and there's only been one giveaway, which six people tops entered), but I'm pretty sure this blog is at least partly why my family got to be in a fashion show and why I've gotten several paying writing gigs from various peeps. I hope, too, that the blog will help me move in the direction of some writing-related dreams I have and present me with opportunities I haven't even thought of yet.

.... All that's to say, I've been thinking about adding a weekly feature that will incorporate both what I already like about my blog and hopefully help to diminish what I dislike about it. What I'm thinking is a feature that will essentially be a list of weekly goals that I want to accomplish (i.e., try chicken tetrazzini recipe, take your fat dogs on a walk, etc.) and then I can blog about these things later on if I want to. The idea is to take advantage of the accountability that the blog provides while also giving me an outlet for being more "real." What do you think?