June 28, 2012

Stuff I Love: Belly Wear.

sources: maxi dressbow shoespantsfloral dress, kimonosaddle shoes

With Tessa, I was pregnant during the dead of winter, and I just went straight to the nearest maternity store and bought lots of blah basics, which were thrilling just because they were maternity, which was unchartered territory to me. But by the time I was full-term, I had fully lost touch with my style.

This time, it's hot and steamy, and (so far) I'm having more fun dressing around the belly without losing the things that make my style my own. I'm trying, too, to buy as few actual maternity pieces as possible, though I have picked up some must-haves like a maternity swimsuit, denim shorts, and aqua-colored skinny jeans (obviously crucial). Instead, I'm looking for blousy, loose stuff that will work post-pregnancy. Like, I need a kimono. Nekos thinks it's hilarious that I am kimono hunting, but it's a fact.

And don't you think being pregnant is the perfect excuse to splurge on shoes and accessories instead of garments? I do! That said, ASOS's maternity clothes are my absolute favorite. Like the floral dress above for $29? So pretty. And if my budget allowed it, I would totally hit up Hatch Collection. Do you have any maternity clothing favorites?

June 27, 2012

Stuff I Wore: 18 Weeks.

Tomorrow I'm 18 weeks pregnant, and in two weeks we get to find out the gender! Nekos totally thinks it's a boy, and I'm totally unsure. I have really waffled about which I want, too, so that all I really want now is whatever we're having. And if he or she could be a little less of a handful than Tessa is, that would be awesome, too. Tessa is having the biggest mommy phase of her life. She'll hardly let anyone else hold her, and she wants me to hold all 31 lbs. of her at all times. I'm the beneficiary of lots of slobbery, lingering, intense kisses, and I'm trying to soak it all up; it's as though she's cherishing her last few months as my only. Little does she know she will always, always be my baby, and no one could ever take her place. Aaaand I just teared up writing that. But, for serious. 

I am finally "showing." It takes me awhile because I'm 5'11" barefoot, but still, this is sooner than I bellied up with Tessa. I love every bit of a pregnant woman's belly, including my own. 

So Sashay Shoes was kind enough to send me these rad platforms months ago, when I was too busy hanging my head over a toilet to lace them up. This is their "Whitney" shoe, which is on sale for $22 on the site right now. I love that Sashay is based out of Nashville, and that it keeps its focus on a small, curated collection of shoes for any budget. They just stocked the online shop with summer shoes, and $2 from every sale goes to Transitions Housing, an East Nashville organization. Give them a peep. Seriously cute shoes for a steal.   

Other outfit deets:

Tee - H&M
Tank - Free People
Belt - Free People
Maternity skinnies - Target (from when I was pregnant with Tessa)

June 25, 2012

Summer Loves.

This morning I was driving Tessa to her Mother's Day Out program and she said, "Mama, it's hot outside."

"It is," I said. "Very. That's because it's summertime. But summer is my very favorite season because it's hot and sunny and we get to play in water and go to the pool. There are more things to do, and everyone seems more cheerful. It's a happy time."

"I like summer, too," said Tessa, in a hurry. "It's happy. But it's hot outside. Very."

I do. I love summer so much. I'm even happy to be pregnant during the summer because although I don't like being pregnant, being in the midst of, to me, the happiest time of the year lifts my spirits. There are more things to do, more options for play, more parties that linger outside with the fireflies, more talk of tending vegetable gardens and going for ice cream. And the tomatoes this time of year! To our relief Tessa has taken to the water this summer. Last year she was so scared of the pool and clung to me like a wet cat. We couldn't figure out why; maybe it's because her hair is such a pain the ass to wash and comb and she's gotten a bad association with bath time and water and the hairbrush that comes afterward? Now, though, she loves nothing more than going to the "waterpark" (the fountains near downtown Nashville) or to the swimming pool at the YMCA. 

June 24, 2012

Stuff I Made: Short-Sleeved Little Girl Shirts.

I'm baaaaack! No nausea or killer headaches for a week now!!!! (And I'm enjoying my food again; in fact, I just polished off a slice of fresh peach cake with vanilla ice cream--leftovers from a dinner party we hosted last night. Because, also? We can host dinner parties again!) 

I had morning sickness for 17 whole weeks, over a month longer than I had it with Tessa, and it has been one of the toughest times of my life, enough to make ever having a third child seem like an impossibility. I am trying very much to appreciate wellness, which is so easy to take for granted. Actually, I'm trying to just appreciate everything more, especially the pregnancy itself. I am in love with my rounding belly and the little life rippling and shimmying in there.

I've been thinking a lot about it, and I want to return to my blogging. I've realized that this place is such a barometer of my happiness. Generally, when I'm happy, I blog. When I'm not, I don't. And blogging itself makes me happy because it gives me something that's mine, all mine. It gives me a place to catalog all the things that make me happy and to write about, and try to understand, some of the things that don't. 

To get back on the horse, here's a simple post about some sewing I did weeks ago but was too sick/sad to blog about.

T-bean has lots of long-sleeved shirts in her closet, but very few tee shirts, which is what we need in this 90+ degree weather. She's growing fast; already some of her 2T stuff is growing snug so it seemed a good idea to shorten the sleeves of some of the shirts that I love but that I know she'll outgrow by the time fall arrives.

On three of the shirts, I just hemmed the sleeves, but on the other two I had more fun, sewing rickrack along the raw-edged sleeves of one and adding a pocket to another. (Here's where I got the printable template for the pocket.)

And here's Tess wearing one of her "new" shirts:

Back soon!

June 6, 2012

I'm depressed about my morning sickness.

Hope is a funny thing. Some mornings when I blink awake and realize that I feel OK, I get to wake up with hope. I'll sit up and stretch and think, "Maybe this it. Maybe the all-day morning sickness is waning. Maybe I'll be in the clear soon."

That happened this morning. Until 10:30 came. By 11 a.m., I was sitting with Tessa at a local deli, normally one of my favorites, pale and shaky and choking down a chicken sandwich and hoping no one I knew popped in. I willed myself not to look up at the menu on the wall (filled with horrifying-sounding ingredients) and concentrated on picking out the best place to puke. (Just outside the front door of the restaurant? Could I leave Tessa in her chair for a few minutes alone? Or, time willing, maybe I could grab her and dash into the bathroom?)

Tomorrow, I'll be 15 weeks pregnant. Through the very worst of the morning sickness, around 8-10 weeks, I let hope sustain me. When I was pregnant with Tessa, all the terrible nausea fell away by 12 weeks, leaving me to enjoy my pregnancy and my meals and my burgeoning belly, not to mention shopping for a little girl and her nursery. This pregnancy I've held on to that memory even when I could hardly hold my head up because I felt so tired and sick and sad. Now that the weeks have begun to tick by on my second trimester, I'm starting to feel positively depressed about the fact that I still feel so rotten.

And, not that I would wish it on anyone, but none of my friends have ever experienced morning sickness like this, so it's easy to feel alone. Also? I hate to complain because I just don't want to be that person. So to be in this position, week after week, is devastating. I don't see much of my friends because I dread telling them that I still feel bad. I don't return phone calls because I know that's not what they want to hear, and I don't want to be a drag. They want the old me back. And so do I.

Even though I'm lonely, the last thing I want to do most days is "hang out" or fake how I feel. Still, my saving grace (and social outlet) through this terrible period has been Nekos. He cooks, cleans, picks up food that sounds good to me, tells me I'm beautiful even though I have heinous pregnancy acne, and understands when I crawl into bed at 8 p.m. Best of all, he calls me throughout the day just to see how I feel. And even when I cry and tell him "terrible," it's made all the difference to know he cares and that he's not judging me for being whiny or wimpy or down and out. I love him more than ever these days. I cry in the car when a love song comes on, for real. And I'm so grateful for my mom, too, who has been a great help with Tessa and who's listened to me blabber on and on each week about my new, next great hope for a morning sickness cure. Turns out my one true surefire, magic morning sickness cure is love.

I haven't had a chance to get excited about this baby at all, which is sad on its own. I haven't written anything for him or her. I haven't bought anything or made anything. Too much space in my mind is occupied now by the fear that I might have to live with this for another five-and-a-half months. Could this be one of those pregnancies where the sickness never goes away?

Please, no. I am still holding on to hope, even when it's kicking me in the gut.

Sometimes I think women don't talk about morning sickness enough, especially since it mostly occurs during those first 12 weeks when we're trying to keep everything hush-hush. What is the deal? Isn't pregnancy tough enough already?

I want to know: Have any of you experienced lingering morning sickness? Did you get the blues about it?